So my best friend and I were talking about our days yesterday, like we tend to do if we haven't talked in a bit, and she told me, that a lady came through her line, and proceeded to tell her "Do not get married, you have to cook, and clean, and give them sex". This is a prime example of why people these days do not fail to surprise me, when it comes to how little they know about being married. I feel like I should be wrong about this, but I know i'm not, because sure i'm a newlywed, but that doesn't matter! Marriage isn't give and no receive in return. That's not how it works. If you see it that way, then you're doing it WRONG. I'm not judging anyone, but there is so much more to marriage than that.
1. You don't HAVE to clean up after anyone but yourself.
The point in "cleaning up after them" is, you're doing it because you care about them. I personally, clean up after my husband, because one, I can't stand the mess, it drives me nuts. And two, because he works, he takes care of our household, he is the head of the family, and it's the least I could do for him. I clean because I want to, not because I have to. I don't have to do anything.
2. You HAVE to cook?
Really? That's funny, because, I rarely cook. My husband cooks. And very well I might add. But that's beside that point. Again, you don't HAVE to cook. You cook because you want to make sure you, your husband, and your kids have dinner. And if you don't want to cook, then ask your husband to cook. I don't think I have EVER met a man, who didn't jump at the chance of taking over the responsibility of a meal. My husband loves to cook. It keeps him calm and makes him happy. But maybe that's just me. I think I got my point across.
3. You have to GIVE them sex.
This one really works my nerves. Since when is sex a one sided act? I'm pretty sure, that if you don't want to have sex with your husband, then it isn't required to. But you should WANT TO. That's one of the fun parts of being married. (Yeah, I said it) Sex is a mutual act where you give all of yourself to the other person, where the two of you become one with each other, and express your love to each other because you love your spouse so much. GOODNESS. It's shameful that sex is seen by some women as just something that you do to shut your husband up. Where's the romance? The passion? I mean, I know once you have kids, and you get older, that you get more tired at night, and sometimes, you don't always feel like it, but I can promise you, as I get older, I won't let to fire burn out. It's not going to happen. I love my husband with every bit of myself and I will ALWAYS be attracted to him no matter. That's kind of what love is about. Never letting the fire burn out.
Want to know a piece of advice, that I see fixing this problem in people's marriage.
I know a LOT of people will not agree with this, but this has really been the golden rule when it comes to my marriage. God being number one, at the top of the list, nestled right into the middle of our marriage. Has done wonders. Really. Anytime there is any kind of difference, I just remind myself that God brought me to my husband because he is my perfect mate. Dyllon Charles was made for me since day one. How special am I? To have a soul, specially crafted by the creator himself, made, to fit my soul perfectly like puzzle pieces that should have never been separated. One of the beautiful things in life that I will never really get over. It's beautiful, and poetic, and I love it. If you keep this in your mind, and apply it to your marriage, it will do wonders, i'm telling you. I'm not trying to offend anyone, I'm more trying to help, so that people like that woman who told my best friend not to get married, will change their point of view. I don't want people like her who are sour to such a sacred thing, going around telling others that it's just all give and no get. That's not marriage. Marriage, is mutual and wonderful, IF you know what you're doing. Just take a little time and learn the tricks of the trade and you won't be let down.
I guess i'm done ranting for the day, but I just had to get it out there.