The longer I sit here, repeating everything over and over at the newspaper, the more I feel as if I am slipping away from my dream. I went to school to get a graphic design degree, but that's only because it was the closest thing to photography that I could find. It was the only major that had any kind of photo editing and photo taking classes. But sometimes i feel like this degree trapped me. I'm stuck, doing ads, over and over, letting my creativity waste away. I love that I have a job doing what I went to school to do, but deep down, this really isn't what I went to school to do. I went to school in search of a way to get a photography class or two in, teach me the ways of a photographer, and ultimately getting me started on my photography career.
There are three things, holding me back, from going for this. 3 things keeping me from making my dream a reality, and I don't know exactly how I'm gonna get past them.
This is the main thing stopping me. I can't afford a nice camera, I can't afford a nice studio, or prints, or other equipment. I can't afford a website, or props, frames, or editing programs. I don't know why life has to be so expensive. I don't know how to go forward from here.
I never have time for anything, between my full time job at the newspaper, and going to school every single day, I wouldn't have time to do shoots if I tried. If I could just sit in a studio and edit photos all day long, and that be my job, I don't think I could be any happier. But it's not happening for me. I'm building a future in a direction I don't want to go in, but I can't stop now, or I will put myself and my husband in a bind.
I can't do portraits without subjects. I am leaning more and more toward portrait photography as I grow older and mature in my taste. I love dealing with people. I love capturing non posed photos. The candid moments that surprise you once you see how the picture turned out. That is what lights my fire. But my fire is out right now. No one wants their pictures taken.
I guess I sound a little negative. But i'm just a little discouraged right now.